So I'm struggling to find how to write at the moment. There is a huge gap in our lives. The way I saw January panning out was trips between hospitals. I would have chemo and I would have Ally. Hospital 1, drugs in my arm. Hospital 2, drugs in my heart. You see Ally was a drug to me. She was motivation, positivity, love and so much more. Now she is gone I'm on a huge come down. I would say withdrawal but that would suggest that I'll be ok at the end.
What I can say with regards to hope is that there is some. I have two beautiful little boys and one large one to look after. I think if I lean right down, tilt my head and squint I can see the light at the end of the tunnel but wow it's hard to see.
My friend Lizzie can tell you a lot more. I've mentioned her before and she is the first person I thought of when it all started to get dark. She is the reason I started this blog and also the reason why I won't stop.
Lizzie. Thank you xxxx